What Makes You Different Is Exactly What Makes You Effective
A note from Michell:
This community has never just been about me.
It has always been about the women in the rooms, the conversations after the meetings, the connections that turn into collaborations, friendships and sometimes life-changing opportunities. This summer I wanted our newsletter to reflect that too.
If you have been around me for more than five minutes, you know I talk about my Strengths… a lot. Knowing what they are has been one of the most clarifying things I have done for myself – personally and professionally. So when I met Ali Carson (before she became our Chesterfield Chapter Leader) and found out she was a StrengthsFinder guru, I was excited. And then she presented a spin on the topic at our National Conference at Disney and I was fully, completely obsessed. I will let her take it from here…
Early in my career, someone told me that my bubbly, outgoing nature made me seem less professional. I talked too much and too fast. I moved quickly from task to task. I spent too much time chatting with others. I always seemed to have another idea to share.
At the time, I desperately wanted to be seen as a true professional and an expert, so I took that feedback to heart. After all, there was some truth in it. My natural enthusiasm and tendency to think out loud sometimes got ahead of me. But instead of learning how to better channel those tendencies, I overcorrected.
I tucked my authentic self away and became a more buttoned-up version of myself. More serious. Less energetic. Less fun. Less me.
It was several years before I moved into a role where I felt safe enough to start testing the waters. Little by little, I showed more of who I was. I shared ideas more freely. I brought more energy into meetings. I leaned into building relationships and connecting people. And something unexpected happened.
The things that made me ME were the very things that made me effective.
The more I embraced my natural style, the more people sought me out. My relationships became stronger. My work became more enjoyable. And I found myself making a bigger impact, not because I was trying to be like someone else, but because I was finally being myself.
I see this all too often with the women I coach. They receive a piece of feedback and treat it as gospel. They begin molding themselves into who they think others want them to be, slowly losing sight of what makes them unique in the process.
Then work starts to feel hard.
They’re exhausted from trying to be someone they’re not. They begin questioning their confidence, their effectiveness, and sometimes even whether they’re in the right role. Sound familiar?
This is one of the reasons I’m so passionate about helping people live into their strengths. Time and again, I’ve seen the magic that happens when people begin to understand and intentionally use what comes naturally to them. Work feels less forced. Confidence grows. Performance improves. And perhaps most importantly, they stop feeling like they have to leave part of themselves at the door.
So how do you figure out what your strengths actually are? Start by paying attention to the clues your strengths leave behind. Ask yourself:
- What energizes me?
- What do I learn quickly?
- What do people consistently come to me for?
- When do I lose track of time?
- What leaves me feeling fulfilled?
These questions can reveal patterns about how you’re naturally wired and where you do your best work.
My challenge to you is simple: spend 15 minutes reflecting on the questions above. Then, as you move through your week, pay attention to the moments when work feels easier, not harder. Notice what you’re doing, who you’re with, and what comes naturally in those moments. You may discover that the very thing you’ve been overlooking is the thing that helps you shine.
Because what makes you different may be exactly what makes you effective.
Ali Carson
Founder & CEO of Movere Coaching
